I don't know if I'll have any followers. I hope people out there will find me. Never thought I would be one to blog about my personal life but when in Rome...
I have lots of negative things going on in my life without a real support system. I'm 42 and left NY almost 7 years ago. I left my parents, my sister, and most of all, my two precious nephews, not to mention my friends. I never had a lot of friends, but I've been blessed with some very good friends. What the hell was I thinking? I'm hoping to find out through self-discovery and introspection. For the last couple of years, I've been positive that moving here was a mistake...but was it? I don't know. Where is 'here'? Virginia. The last place I ever imagined spending my life. I question by decision every single day. I'm unhappy and I don't know how I let things get this bad. My parents love me but I have major issues with them, and for reasons too personal to say, I can't discuss my unhappiness with them. I protect them from the stresses of my life. Sometimes I don't know why I do that. But that's for another blog entry.
My reason and hope for this blog is to have a place to vent. I am learning that constantly venting/complaining to my friends can't last too long if I expect to keep them as friends. They've been very patient with me for so long but two of them already have expressed frustration with my constant worries, problems and fears. I figure, I like to write, why not blow off some steam and have a place to vent, even if no one ever reads this but myself. Perhaps I'll surprise myself by learning something about myself. Perhaps I'll find I have more strength than I think I have. Perhaps I will see why my friends are getting so frustrated with only hearing negativity from me. Keeping bad things locked inside is not healthy, everyone knows that. I have tried hand-written diaries several times in my life and I always give up on it or let extreme amounts of time go by before I write again. I can only say this is a new form of trying once again, to help myself vent.
This won't all be bad, doom-n-gloom type stuff. I can talk about the happier times, share funny, memorable moments and figure out how to get back to feeling the way I did when those moments happened. I can talk about the people in my life and what affect they've had on me. You are the product of whom you were raised by and who you chose to associate yourself with throughout your life. These people have shaped who you are - everyone. Figuring out what each of these people have meant to me may help me with my road to self-discovery.
So welcome to my blog. If by some happenstance, you've found this blog and it intrigues you in any way, or you can commiserate, relate or just are plain interested, please leave a comment - I need a support system and chances are, if you've found me, perhaps you need one too. I will try and write every day. I hope this helps...running out of creative ways to keep my mind sane! Tune in tomorrow - the problems of my life will soon be on the net for the world to see!
No comments:
Post a Comment